New Post

Well, here it is Monday night and I feel like I should post something ... but exactly what I should post on is eluding me. So I think I will just mention a few things that are random. One is that I am not sure why, but I was really productive today. I had a day off and usually on my days off I just do nothing and lay around, but today I was really productive. I cleaned, I made cookies, I did laundry, I went grocery shopping. I did a lot. I am not sure why ... maybe it was because I was well rested. For once. I almost never feel well rested, but I did for some reason today. I mean, it was probably because I fell asleep for a 'nap' yesterday and slept for like 6 hours. Then I went to bed a few hours later. I have done that before though and still felt just as tired as I had previously.

Also, I have been doing a lot more writing lately. I thought about posting it, but it is really rough so I am not going to. Also, I think if I was going to post it it would have to be on a different blog ... it wouldn't really fit in on this one. But I guess I just wanted to mention that I was doing it.

Anyway, my sudden drive to write more on this post is gone, so I will stop. Sorry if anyone read this expecting something that was actually interesting.

Rant and Rave!

Rant - So my co-workers and I were talking the other day about blogs. One thing we were talking about was why anyone would want to keep a blog. One of my co-workers actually didn't know anything about blogging, which is a little hard to imagine since I thought everyone in the world knew about blogs (even my Mom! so that is amazing!). So we were telling him that it is a lot like a journal, only published online so everyone can read it. Well then he asked, why wouldn't you just write a real journal that everyone can't read? And I thought about that. I guess everyone who keeps a blog has a little bit of an exhibitionist in them. I mean, I make sure that I don't write anything that I would feel weird having a stranger know about me, but still, I obviously want someone to know something. I guess I just like the idea that maybe someone will read it and know what I mean.

Rave - I just want to take a minute to mention how much I really really love my new car. It is such a smooth quiet ride compared to the jeep. I will always have a fondness in my heart for said jeep, but I love my new Mazda so much more. And I tested the volume on the radio the other day and it goes all the way up to 34! Sometimes I think that even 8 is too loud! And I have always been a product of my father and I love to go driving around just for the heck of it, but I especially love to now in my new car. And with gas prices being what they are the fact that I go driving just for the heck of it says something. At least I think it does.

Heere's Johnny!

So, I know that I have been procrastinating, but it is hard for my to update my blog when I am home because there is not really a good internet connection at my parents' house. So this is the update - with pictures of my little nephew John Daniel. I know that Grandma put my blog address in the family newsletter and told people to look here for pictures of the little guy so I have been feeling guilty about not posting pics sooner. Oh well, here they are. He is totally the cutest baby ever, and he has a really good disposition - even when he cries it is more funny than anything. Not a loud crier either. We tried to take pics of him smiling, but it was a hard thing to do so this is the best you will get for a while. Enjoy the cuteness! Also, for those who didn't know, I dyed my hair back to dark. It looks crappy in the last photo but still I like it much more since I don't have to keep re-bleaching it all the time.

My Car!

Well, I finally took pictures of my car and I thought I would post them. To tell the truth, I only took 2, 1 from the passenger side and the other from the drivers side, so they look almost the same, so I am only posting one. I am going to post the one from the drivers side because you can see my house in the background! Well, the house I live in .... but that still makes it mine for now right...?

My New Car!

Well, I did it. As you can tell from the title of the post, I bought a new car. It is a 2005 Mazda 6 and it has about 24,000 miles on it (give or take a few) and I love it! I just wanted to put this on here to let everyone know. Also, I am putting a pic on here that I got online. It isn't exactly like mine - mine is green - but it is pretty darn close. I plan to take pics to post on here soon but for now this should placate those who want to see it.

Inspired!

Look at me, posting twice in one day! Woo! Actually I was inspired by my friend Chelsea who just got her hair cut and it looks awesome - to put pics of my (semi) new haircut up so you can see it. I have been planning on posting pics like this forever so ... thanks Chels for the inspiration. Here is my hair. Also, sorry about the weird 'MySpace' angle on the pics, but I was taking them before going to bed one night and I was too tired to care how nice they turned out.

Half-Hearted Posting

Well, I am putting up a post but it is only half-heartedly. I have been really sucking at posting on my blog lately and I just wanted to put something new on here so that I could say I don't suck too bad.

Anyway, I have bad news. My car is on it's last legs. So sad. I love my little jeep (my dad would argue with me here that it is HIS little jeep, but you get the idea). A while back it overheated a little and then wouldn't start and when I took it in and got it fixed the mechanic mentioned to me that the exhaust manifold was cracked. He also said he understood that money is always important and since I had to pay about $600 to get the rest of the car fixed and I probably couldn't afford to fix it I could leave it as long as I don't do too much highway driving. So, that is still wrong with it (I never got it fixed) but now to add to that it is leaking oil in several places. I took it to the mechanic again and he said that it really wasn't worth it to fix it since it had so many kilometers on it.

My dad's suggestion is to just drive it until it dies but then I would be stuck with no car. So I am trying to take care of the problem now. The only problem is that I don't know if I want to buy a car here in Oregon and register it and stuff and get my license changed over because I am not sure how long I am going to live here in Oregon and it might be more hassle than it is worth. But then again, I am not sure I want to continue what I am doing which is have my car registered in Canada. Any thoughts?

Rare and Unwelcome

So, in the last however many years of my life, I can't remember how many times I have been sick - but just so you know, it is not a lot. And then what happens?! In the last three weeks I have been sick twice! Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but it is pretty close to the truth. I got sick a few weeks ago with the whole head plugged and coughing thing and then my voice was messed up for about a week afterwards. Just when I was starting to feel fine - I had a bit of a residual cough but that was it - I got sick again! This time it was kinda the same - my head was plugged and pounding but I was dizzy as all get out and achy all over. I hate being sick. I am glad it is rare for me, but let me just say - I can't wait to feel better. I was so sick that yesterday I slept practically all day. I would sleep, then get up to go to the bathroom, then I would go back to sleep (did I mention the copious amounts of Nyquil?) I felt somewhat better today, but not a ton. Grr. I just want to be healthy!!

Not the Long Awaited Post .... Sorry

The title of this post was a disclaimer because this is not the post that will explain what has been going on in my life for the last month that made me not post. No this post will just be my musings, that were sparked by watching a preview for this movie. It is called Penelope and it is about a girl who has a pig nose and will until she can find someone to accept her as she is until death do they part. So basically, as it was described to me by someone else, until she finds her 'true love'. I guess this got me to thinking about that term. True love.

Let's also bring up the movie 'Beauty and the Beast'. It is a great movie. I love it. One of my favourites by Disney. But the curse he is under states that he will be that way until he can learn to love another and earn her love in return (or something like that, I'm quoting off the top of my head here!) Anyway, when do you know that you have earned someone's love? That is really what this is driving at. I mean if you are cursed until you find your true love, is it just until you meet them, or until they love you, or until they tell you they love you. Because those three time points in time can be significantly different. I mean, all three could never happen, but some people never say the words "I love you" so if that was the case you would be totally screwed right?

In 'Beauty and the Beast' the curse breaks when she tells him, but maybe that is the same time she realizes she is in love with him (but I don't think it is the actual moment she 'falls in love with him'). Anyway, I was just wondering about that - because it would actually be quite convenient for you if it was when you met that person right, because the curse would end and that would tell you that you had just met your true love. If that is the case then put that curse on me because it is hard to know otherwise.

Also, I am obviously totally ignoring the fact that I totally disagree with the term 'true love' in general and that I think that it is stupid to think that you have one and only one person that you were meant to be with your whole life and that if you miss them then you are in big trouble. But if that was true, and curses could be put on people, then how is it determined that the curse is over. I guess that is all I am asking. Whatever. If anyone has insight let me know. Thanks!

Blogocrite!

So I am so bad. I have several blogs that I check most days of my friends and stuff and I get really annoyed when they haven't posted in a long time - but look at me! My last post was on the 1st of this month! I am so sad. So I decided that before I can complain about their lack of posting I had to put something on here. So, now I am officially complaining! Lol.

Anyway, there are two main things in my life that are way exciting right now. One is my brother's girlfriend is about ready to pop - her due date was technically the 11th of Jan and so now she is just waiting impatiently for the little dude to decide he is sick of the warm cushy womb. They are going to induce on Mon or Tues if there is nothing by then.

The other exciting thing is that my friends and I are going to Florida in like 4 days! (Not counting today or the day we are leaving of course!) I am so excited. There is still so much I want to do before then, but I suck and every time I plan to do it I get distracted by the phone or a book or the internet, or like tonight, a nap. I was so sleepy after work that I just laid on my bed to check my email and I totally fell asleep. It was way nice though. I love naps!

The last thing that I have to update on is that while getting ready for Florida Jas and I decided I needed to re-bleach my roots (I have to do that so much, it is way annoying!) and we decided I needed a haircut too. So I got an A-line and it looks way good. We looked off this picture of Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice for those who have no idea who that is from her real name) and I think it turned out really cute. I was going to take a pic and put in on here to show you but I took out my camera and the batteries were dead - so I guess you will have to wait until next time. I promise it won't be as long until my next post!

Resolution!

So, most often my New Years resolutions are like everyone else's - eat healthier, exercise more, blah blah blah! But no one (especially not me) ever stick to those resolutions for long, so I have decided to do something a little easier and a little more practical.

Floss more than I did last year. Which won't be hard because I suck at flossing my teeth. I hardly ever do. So I only have to do it like, 5 times to make it more than I did last year. And also, this resolution is good for my gum health. And easier than eating healthier or working out more. Blech! Wish me luck!

Being Afraid of the Dark

The title of this post is a little deceiving, since I think it might give you the impression that I am afraid of the dark, but I am not. In fact, I quite like the dark. I like sitting in the dark by myself - not sleeping or thinking really, but just being alone in the dark. I also like going on walks by myself at night in the dark. I know, I know, right now many or you are planning on clicking the little button at the bottom of this post and leaving me a cautionary comment about doing that - but you can stop. I know the danger and I have heard all the warnings, but I still love the dark.

The main reason for this post is that I have seen many movies recently, and in the past, that seem to encourage this sort of unprecedented fear of the dark. I saw the movie "30 Days of Night" and I liked it a lot. I liked for one that it didn't encourage the whole vampires are beautiful mentality that our culture is heading towards. In fact, after seeing the vampires in that movie, I don't think anyone would really WANT to become a vampire. But it still seems to be a cautionary tale of being in the dark ... at all ... ever. And another recent movie I saw was "I Am Legend" - which I thought was great. But still, the 'zombies' (for lack of a better word) only really seem to come out at night, and during the daylight hours they hang out in the dark.

All this leads me to wonder why, as humans, we are so afraid of the dark. I know that we can't see in the dark so that adds a little bit of unknown to many situations. But still, I don't think it is the dark we should be afraid of as much as what people (and other creatures) do in the dark. And mostly what they are willing to do because it is dark.

I guess being from a small town where everyone knows everyone and if you get in trouble your parents know before you get home made me feel safe in the dark. There were many times when my best friend, at the end of the night, would say, "'Oh, I have to walk her halfway home because she can't walk by herself in the dark." (As a side note here I will add that we lived maybe three blocks from each other.) But that was more so we could get more time together, and not really because either of us were afraid of the dark. But even now when I go home, and it is not too cold, I relish being able to go on a long walk in the dark by myself out to the stop-sign and back where there are almost no street lights and the view of the stars is amazing. So I maintain that it is healthy for me not to be afraid of the dark. I am still careful, especially when I am not at home in my town of 250 people but am instead in my current residential town of about 40,000, but that doesn't mean I don't do it. I am just smarter about it. In fact, I think I will go for a walk right now.

Flabby, Fat and Lazy

That is the way I get when I am at home. I don't do a whole lot of anything (I haven't even changed out of my PJ's today) and I eat a lot of junky food. It is so great. But crappy at times, because I get rumbly's in my tumbly and I feel like all I want to do is go for a run. Which, for me, is pretty crazy since I HATE running. And even though I slept way in this morning and it is only 10:30 I feel like it is about time to go to bed. So I will soon - right after this movie ends and if nothing else good is on TV afterwards (since my life is completely dictated by the schedule of the three TV channels we get here in Carmangay). Anyway, that is about all ... since I have been doing nothing, I really have nothing to write about. I hope I can be a bit more productive tomorrow. Maybe I will at least shower ... depending on what's on TV.

Excitorated!

That's right - excitorated. That is what I am. For I am leaving tomorrow for an entire week. I am so happy. Not that I don't love being here in Oregon and working my job and hanging out with my friends and all that - because I do - but I am way excited to get away from all of it and chillax for a week. Maybe figure out my life. Probably not, but I might actually have time to think for a few seconds. I have so much to do though, so very much. So little time. Blech. Anyway, that is the extent of my blogging power tonight because even though it is only 11:24 (early in the eyes of my roommate) I am dead tired! Work was tiring and so was life after work. It is time to rest up for my hectic day tomorrow. My next post will be from Canada! (fingers crossed)

Sorry

So today was one of those feel sorry for myself days. I don't know why, but I just felt 'blah'. Do you ever feel blah? Where it feels like you are too fat and too ugly and too mean and too nice and too stupid and too smart and no one will ever love you even though you know darn well that lots of people love you. I felt really alone even though I was surrounded by people. The thing was that I felt fine at work when I actually was by myself and then I got home and was around people and I felt like crap. And then this friend of mine - this sweet nice great friend of mine - called to see if I was okay. I hadn't told him I had to work today so he was wondering why I wasn't at church and wanted to know if I was okay. And that made it better in one way and worse in another. It was nice to know that right when I was feeling like no one cared, someone called and obviously did care. But at the same time, he is one of my friends and he is dating this girl, and that is the way it seems all my friends are (well not all, but many). And if they aren't dating someone then they at least have in the past ... but I haven't. And I feel weird about that. I feel like maybe I am going to meet this great guy someday who I really like and he will really like me until he finds that out and then he will assume that there is something wrong with me that he just didn't know about so he won't like me anymore. That is stupid and irrational, but there it is.

The title of this is really an apology to anyone who ends up stumbling across this horrid mushiness of my thought goo and actually reads it. Sorry that you read it. That is all. I won't feel like this tomorrow and I will post something normal. Maybe.

Hectic Week!

So, the concert was a great start to a crazy week. The day of the concert the friend I went with had her cell phone die and the charging post on the inside broke so it is now unusable. Then, my car on the way to the concert seemed like it was smoking or steaming, but since it was totally pouring we thought it was steam. The next day my roommate asked me to drive her to the airport and as we were going my car was still 'steaming' only, it was no longer raining. Uh oh right? So luckily when we were on the freeway it was okay because it stayed cool and didn't overheat, but just as we are about to get home there is a huge traffic backup on the freeway from an accident and we are stuck sitting there for a long time. We get back into town and the temp gauge is on the border between the red and the white, it even tips into the red slightly a few times. So I blast the heat and hurry home. As soon as I get there we pop the hood and green goop sprays everywhere and there is smoke rising from my poor engine.

To make a long story short, I finally got the stupid thing to the mechanic and he tells me that it is the water pump which made me lose all the water, so it overheated and then it blew the thermostat, the thermostat housing and it was so hot it even melted this gasket which made it so that air got into the fuel line and it wouldn't stay running. So, $668 later my car runs again. I am so broke. Poor me. But on the plus side, the car is running again. :)

Jingle Ball!

So my friend Jasmine and I went to this awesome concert where we saw:

Jordin Sparks

One Republic

Colbie Callait

and Avril Lavigne.
It was a way awesome concert - even though we stood on our feet for about 4 stinkin' hours! It was a long time! Anyway, my car overheated and freaked out on me afterwards so now I have to go deal with that, but I thought I would post some pics so you could all see the awesomeness! I bet you are jealous!

Good News!!!

So, today I finally got up the guts or the courage or the gumption or the ... whatever ... and I finished moving! Well, not totally finished, but it was actually not raining so I moved my bed, which was the reason I was holding back from moving the rest of my stuff. So tomorrow I will hopefully be moving the last of the things in my apartment! Yay. It is nice to know that I can sleep where most of my clothes and books and things are. It is way cool. Farewell apartment, we had some good times together. I will miss you. Sniffle.

I Wanna Be Like You

I really do. I want to walk like you, talk like you too.
It's true.
Because you are awesome, and although I may seem just as awesome (at times) I am really not. You think you know what I am like, but you don't. I am who I think you want me to be. I fill the roll I think you need filled in your life, but when I am alone I am void - I am nothing. I'm sorry if this makes you sad, but it is true. What do you want me to be today?
Oh how I wish I could quit my day-job and go jetting around the world and take as much time as I wanted for knitting and writing. But I can't. Sad.


(Some sleepy ramblings and an attempt at creative almost poetry)

Stalling ...

So I have been stalling on the finishing of the moving. The problem is that I am waiting for the weather to cooperate with the moving of my bed, and until I move my bed I don't want to move my TV or the rest of my food and dishes and stuff. So I am stalling. But it is hard to live halfway in two places - whatever I want always seems to be at the house I am not currently at.

As for other things, I had a really good talk with my co-worker during lunch today and it is great. The subject wasn't great, but it was great that he seemed to understand things I was talking about and didn't judge me for things I said that were a little ... hard to hear. He is a great guy who is very similar to me in a lot of important ways and that makes him a great person to work with. It was one of the best lunch breaks I have had in a long long time. Anyway, I guess it is bed time - tomorrow is going to be a crazy day -but that's all for now, folks!