Oops?

Heh, so much for being better at posting. Oh well. You guys have all lived so I think no harm done. A lot has been going on lately and I just haven't really wanted to sit and type it all out because that means that I have organize my thoughts into some kind of coherent manner and that is tough to do.

First off one of my best friend's was diagnosed with what is called psuedo-tumor cerebri which basically means that she has many of the symptoms of a tumor but without an actual physical tumor. She had extra cerebral spinal fluid build up which was giving her headaches and all other sorts of nasty symptoms. Anyway, this diagnosis was then followed by getting a shunt placed in her brain so that the extra fluid would drain off and she wouldn't have the pressure anymore. The surgery went well, but then the next day her heart stopped and so she required another surgery to get a pacemaker put in. So there was about a week in there that I spent mostly at the hospital or at her house helping her out and just basically being there for her. Through it all I realized a couple of things.

One is that I have great friends. She was such a trooper the whole time. I know it is hard to maintain a positive outlook on things when you are facing so much, but she has been so good. I am continually amazed at what people can go through emotionally and physically and still manage to come out okay.

I also realized that I am like my Grandma in ways that I never really realized. My Grandma is a worrier. She has stayed up nights worrying about every single one of her children and grandchildren because she wants so much to help them out. Now, I don't stay up nights, but I worry. I am pretty good about keeping things internal and not letting it effect me too much, but I still worry about things. Sometimes even ridiculous things that I shouldn't worry about. Also, my Grandma is a fixer. I know that if she could just fix all her loved ones' problems she would. Of course this isn't possible, so that leads to the worrying. I also just want to fix things for people. If I could have been the one to have the surgeries for my friend I would. It really sucks when you just want to help someone and there is absolutely nothing you can do.

Other things that have been going on include that I had to get my status renewed so that I could continue to work in the US. I am on TN status and this requires that I go through a border crossing and apply for status every year. It has always been a pain because almost every time I have been missing some kind of paperwork (despite double and triple checking on my part) or something else has gone wrong. This time, thankfully, nothing went wrong. But it made me sick with worry the whole 2 or 3 weeks leading up to it. Add that to worry about my friend who's surgeries were the week before the planned trip and I was a little bit of a wreck.

Thankfully - status is approved for a year, so the worry about that is gone. Thankfully - surgeries are over and my friend is on the mend, so that worry is alleviating. Of course, new things to worry about always pop up. Now I have to take the previously mentioned trip to Pittsburgh for my job for 2 weeks and that is nerve-wracking for about a million different reasons that I don't want to go into because it will just make me freak out more. It will be good. And at the end of it I am going to Utah to visit my family for 2 days, which will be a good end to that adventure. I have been wanting to go to Utah for a while now and so even though it will be a short trip it will be very fulfilling I think. I hope!

Anyway, I will make sure I take pics in Pitt and keep everyone updated on how things go there. I leave on Monday and I am totally not ready to do so (ack!) but I still have 2 days ... that's enough time right? I better go do laundry.

I will not go into a big long diatribe about how much I suck at posting, yada yada, because any of you who might read this know that I have not updated in like 2 weeks and so you know I suck at updating. Anyway, yeah. I just feel like I have been neglecting everything lately - I haven't even updated my Facebook status that much! I know, gasp in shock, it is crazy! But now I think I feel cleansed of whatever was making me not post or update or anything and I should be back in full force on the internets for a while. Go me!

So, I didn't go back and read my last post, so I really have no idea what I talked about last, so I am just going to talk about what I feel like talking about and you can complain if I missed anything huge or important.

Most importantly, I am going on a vacation (of sorts) soon. I am flying home on Wednesday. I am way excited about that. I haven't been to see my fam in a while and I am excited for a few reasons - 1) I get to see my little nephew again, he is so cute! 2) I get to meet my little brother's girlfriend. He has been with her for a while now I think, but he was hesitant about the relationship at first because she has a kid already, so I haven't met her. Also, I haven't been near enough to meet her for the last however long. Oh well, that should be fun. 3) I get to see my Mom. I love that woman. She is amazing and I can't wait to give her a big hug!

So, we are going to be in Canada for a few days, then my mom and I are going to drive down to Utah (renewing my status along the way at the border, which is the main reason I was 'allowed' to go). Not sure when we are leaving exactly or what, but that should be good. I really won't get a chance to do much while I am there since I will only be there for about 10 minutes before I have to leave again since I need to be back in Portland on July 2nd for work stuff. Stupid Job! The more I think about it the more I get annoyed. So I will stop thinking about it. Anyway, I am way excited for that to start.

Another thing that is exciting is that my friend Emily is in town and it is super fun to hang out with her. She is a fun girl. She is totally quirky and weird, but in that awesome I wish I could be like that way. The thing I like most about her is that she isn't afraid to be herself and I kinda hope that hanging out with her will cause some of that stuff to rub off on me. Here's to hoping. :)

Well, that is about all that is exciting that is going on in my life. That and the interns are here so work is now super busy because I get to spend amazingly awesome amounts of time babysitting them. In their defense, they don't know what to do, and how will they learn if I don't show them, but still, it can be really frustrating when my list of things to do is a million miles long and then I can't do any of it because I have to take care of them. Oh well I guess. They are fun kids and it should be a good summer.

I have started reading this new series that my roommate is into right now, but I am not sure how I feel about it. It is the 'House of Night' series written by PJ and Kristen Cast (they are a mother/daughter duo). I think it was more the mother wrote it and the daughter did a lot of heavy editing to make it sound like it wasn't written by a 40 year old woman and then she added a bunch of pop-culture, which I think it a bad idea because it really dates it, but whatever. Anyway, my roommate really likes this series, but I am not to sure how I feel about it. I mean, I will probably read them all, but I can't say that I am enjoying them. I have many thoughts and ruminations about them, which I don't feel like going into right now, so I think I will just say that much now and I will write my thoughts out better when I have read more of this series (I only just finished the first book last night and there are like 6!)

Well, I should be off. I need to go do some actual work while I am here at work. Boo. I wish it was the weekend, but, oh wait, I have to work this weekend! Boo again! Good thing I have some time off coming up or I would be seriously annoyed.