Oops?

Heh, so much for being better at posting. Oh well. You guys have all lived so I think no harm done. A lot has been going on lately and I just haven't really wanted to sit and type it all out because that means that I have organize my thoughts into some kind of coherent manner and that is tough to do.

First off one of my best friend's was diagnosed with what is called psuedo-tumor cerebri which basically means that she has many of the symptoms of a tumor but without an actual physical tumor. She had extra cerebral spinal fluid build up which was giving her headaches and all other sorts of nasty symptoms. Anyway, this diagnosis was then followed by getting a shunt placed in her brain so that the extra fluid would drain off and she wouldn't have the pressure anymore. The surgery went well, but then the next day her heart stopped and so she required another surgery to get a pacemaker put in. So there was about a week in there that I spent mostly at the hospital or at her house helping her out and just basically being there for her. Through it all I realized a couple of things.

One is that I have great friends. She was such a trooper the whole time. I know it is hard to maintain a positive outlook on things when you are facing so much, but she has been so good. I am continually amazed at what people can go through emotionally and physically and still manage to come out okay.

I also realized that I am like my Grandma in ways that I never really realized. My Grandma is a worrier. She has stayed up nights worrying about every single one of her children and grandchildren because she wants so much to help them out. Now, I don't stay up nights, but I worry. I am pretty good about keeping things internal and not letting it effect me too much, but I still worry about things. Sometimes even ridiculous things that I shouldn't worry about. Also, my Grandma is a fixer. I know that if she could just fix all her loved ones' problems she would. Of course this isn't possible, so that leads to the worrying. I also just want to fix things for people. If I could have been the one to have the surgeries for my friend I would. It really sucks when you just want to help someone and there is absolutely nothing you can do.

Other things that have been going on include that I had to get my status renewed so that I could continue to work in the US. I am on TN status and this requires that I go through a border crossing and apply for status every year. It has always been a pain because almost every time I have been missing some kind of paperwork (despite double and triple checking on my part) or something else has gone wrong. This time, thankfully, nothing went wrong. But it made me sick with worry the whole 2 or 3 weeks leading up to it. Add that to worry about my friend who's surgeries were the week before the planned trip and I was a little bit of a wreck.

Thankfully - status is approved for a year, so the worry about that is gone. Thankfully - surgeries are over and my friend is on the mend, so that worry is alleviating. Of course, new things to worry about always pop up. Now I have to take the previously mentioned trip to Pittsburgh for my job for 2 weeks and that is nerve-wracking for about a million different reasons that I don't want to go into because it will just make me freak out more. It will be good. And at the end of it I am going to Utah to visit my family for 2 days, which will be a good end to that adventure. I have been wanting to go to Utah for a while now and so even though it will be a short trip it will be very fulfilling I think. I hope!

Anyway, I will make sure I take pics in Pitt and keep everyone updated on how things go there. I leave on Monday and I am totally not ready to do so (ack!) but I still have 2 days ... that's enough time right? I better go do laundry.