Saturday, January 08, 2011

Forget Me Some ...

So it is funny to me when I look back at things from when I was younger and I realize something was way more important at the time than I ever remember it being. And I am sad to say that over time there are people that I think were really important to me during certain periods of time that I have come to forget. Not the person specifically, but rather, the importance of the friendship. There are a couple people who were in this category that I am going to talk about today - I was reminded when I was home for the holidays and looking through some old papers and notebooks and stuff (yeah, the ones I didn't clean out, but just looked at and put back).

One of these girls is named Shauna. She was also a member of our church, and she and I were pretty good friends in Jr. High because of that. She was a year older than me, but she lived in the town where we had our Jr. High. We became really close for a while and would talk on the phone every night and all that fun stuff. I stayed at her house a few times and that was always fun too. I think her parents split up around the time that she was going off to High School and we didn't see much of each other after that. She had a crush on my brother for a while there and that really kinda hurt my feelings because I think I thought that she only wanted to be my friend so she could get close to him. Looking back she never really gave that impression when I would spend time with her, but I guess the teenage mind makes whatever assumptions it wants. I hadn't seen her or talked to her in forever but I found her on facebook in the last couple years (I love fb for that reason) and I can report that she is now married with four kids (I think) and looks ridiculously happy.

The other friend who I forgot the importance of at the time is Arren. I met her in Jr. High as well and again there were several times I would go stay at her house and we would talk on the phone often. But more than talk on the phone, Arren was a note writer. What I mean is, she would be home at night, bored or just thinking about things or whatever, and instead of call me and talk about it she would usually write a note about it. I always thought it was odd, but looking back I totally get it. For me, when I am all full of emotions about something, it helps to write it all out - she was probably the same way. Also, it takes more time than a phone call might so if you are bored and trying to kill time it is way better for that. The thing that I like most about them now is that since I am such a pack-rat I still have a lot of them and they are in that aforementioned drawer at my parents' house. I read a bunch of them when I was home and I remembered how much I loved that girl. She would randomly write me notes just to tell me how much she thought I was awesome - if I had any confidence growing up it was in large part to her. She was another one of those people that had a crush on my brother. She and I grew apart after grade 10 and for a while I thought it was because she 'got over him'. But really, that was dumb, and I have all those 'you are awesome' notes from her to prove it! And when I say we 'grew apart' all I mean is that our friendship ebbed in the way that friendships tend to do. But as far as I know she is now married and has a few kids (although the last time I saw her in person was when her first was first born and that was quite a while ago!). She is part of the non-fb crowd so I am not as up with her as I could be, but she still spends time with some of the other girls that I am friends with on fb and so I see pics once in a while and she is looking great.

From these girls I learned that just because someone has a crush on my brother, doesn't mean they are using me to get closer to him. I learned that positive reinforcement is good. I learned (a long time ago, and then again recently in re-reading some notes) that I am a good listener and I am good at being there for others. I learned that keeping stuff from the past isn't always a bad thing and it can remind you of good things that you completely forgot about.

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